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Mental Illness and God December 11, 2010

Posted by Crazy Mermaid in mental illness.

While I was psychotic, I had the most amazing conversations with God.  Out of those conversations, He revealed a new set of “tenants” to me. To me only, as far as I can tell.

The first tenant was that rather than destined for Heaven or Hell, it is not that simple. We are all on the same continuum, and “death” in this lifetime is really just movement from this physical body to the next  “body”. This lifetime is just part of a continuum, and not the end of us.  Far from it. Death is not the final destination. In fact, our ultimate destiny is to meet up with everyone else and become “one” with the universe.

When I asked God to explain Himself to me in terms that I could understand, He laughed.  He said that it would be difficult to explain Himself because He exists on so many more levels than we can perceive through this body. We’re trying to get Him to give us information that we’re not equipped to handle given our current limitations.   To understand Him requires vastly more senses than we possess here and now.

When I begged for more specifics, He told me this:  Imagine a giant Mother Ship which represents our entire soul.  Then we have the current lifetime, represented by a drone. We only have complete access to the Mother Ship after death, but we have a new drone in each lifetime. During our various lifetimes, our experiences are obtained via these “drones”.  The “drones” operate as their own complete system in the dimensions we live in, and knowledge of the Mother Ship is wiped from current memory during our lifetime.  Not really wiped, but the drone and Mother Ship only maintain complete contact with each other directly after death. Once we die, our  “drones” download our experiences to the Mother Ship.  Only upon our death does all of the information get translated from a drone to the ultimate individual soul.  Our drones are connected to the Mother Ship by a thin cord, for the most part invisible to us while we’re here because we can’t totally perceive the dimension it’s in.

Throughout many lifetimes, the “drone” transports information to the Mother Ship.  As this information is downloaded, the Mother Ship gets further along in its ultimate destination, which is reunification with God.

Some people try to short-circuit the limitations of this lifetime with drugs. While they do indeed get a sense of this “oneness with the Universe, they are stymied by their ultimate lack of ability to perceive the entire experience. Again and again, they return to drugs to try to recapture that feeling of one-ness, missing the lesson occasionally because they’re trying to cheat their way out of the classroom.

I asked Him to explain ghosts to me. He said that a ghost is simply a drone that doesn’t want to let go of that lifetime.  Eventually, the ghost “gives up the ghost” and returns to the mother ship, either after waiting for some specific person to join them or after coming to terms with their predicament. There are no ancient (10,000 year old) ghosts.  Eventually, they all come to terms with their death and move on to the next stage

Ghosts can be seen by some of us but not all of us. Just as some of us have better sight than others, some of us have better access to the areas of our brains that process ghost perception than others.  Ghosts aren’t able to inhabit the exact same dimensions in death as they are in life, but there is some cross-over of dimensions. Ghosts can pop in and out of some of our current dimensions but the can’t go forward with their progress to God until they download to the Mother Ship. This only occurs when the ghost is ready to move on.

Prayer is truly talking with God (not to God), but there is no need for a middle-man in order to talk with God.  You have direct connection with Him if you will only stop and listen. That listening is done via prayer or meditation or anything that stills the body and mind so the soul can find its way to God.

We are all God’s children, and we’re all headed towards the same ultimate reunification with God on all levels of dimensions.  With each incarnation comes more data for the drone to upload to the Mother Ship.   Many times we revisit the same situations in different physical bodies, always on a search for more information.  The only way we can get more information is through new physical bodies uploading to the Mother Ship.  Physical in this context means something entirely different than the usual definition, since the physical bodies suggested are in different dimensions than the ones we are in now.

Occasionally, we will get an inkling of our past physical bodies, when a particular feeling about a certain point in history brings up strange emotions given our current physical body.

In my case, God allowed me to “see” one of my past lives as a completely different life form on a different planet long ago. Perhaps millions of years ago, I was loved by another of my species, and I spent my time as a sort of blue slug. This picture was presented to me in my mind by God, to prove the point that we’re all very old souls. Again, I can only perceive this data through y current physical body, so the memory is incomplete.  There are dimensions that I operated in during that lifetime that are closed to me in my current body.

In  yet another lifetime, my past was presented in more current terms.  Five hundred years ago, I was a young maiden living in a warm climate on a large island on this planet.  When I thought my beloved was in love with another woman, I took my own life, drowning myself in the ocean.

More currently, I was a black slave in the civil war years, tied  to a small sweltering cabin, where my job was to make babies for my master to sell.  I was routinely raped by a large strapping black man, and I met my demise when I was left without water during a heat wave.  Forgotten, I died of dehydration.

Make what you will of all of this.



1. Meredith - December 11, 2010

Absolutely fascinating.

2. Clay - December 11, 2010

Though you use different terms, that comports well with my understanding. Reminds me of “Illusions”, by Richard Bach. (Highly recommended, if you haven’t already read it.)

3. Nancy widrew - December 12, 2010

I have had many thoughts and experiences similiar to yours. When people ask me my personal beliefs about God, I usually say that if SHE/HE/IT came to Earth and tried to explain “the big picture,” we wouldn’t have the capacity to understand. To make things easier for my human brain, I sometimes picture a big ball. The ball represents God. When we are born a chunk falls out and is replaced with someone who just died, and so on just like what will happen at our own death. In effect, we are returning home.
When I was young, I would occasionally get a visit from a vague figure. It seemed very real. The visitor would explain EVERYTHING to me if I wanted. Sometimes the answer felt literally on the tip of my tongue. I knew that if I learned the whole truth, I would immediately have to die, and I wasn’t ready, so the visits stopped. At this point in my life, I am looking forward to the visits again.

4. Anon - December 12, 2010

There is a theory that past lives are metaphors for traumas and conflicts that have not been worked through by the person reporting them.

5. lyaness - June 15, 2011

I know. I believe you.

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