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The Job that Took My Mind Part 4 November 8, 2009

Posted by Crazy Mermaid in Delusions, ESP, Hearing Voices, mental illness, Stress.
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A few hours before I held my job hostage with Ben, Marvin had assigned me the task of unraveling how much money we owed the prefabricated stadium stairs subcontractor, who was threatening to leave the project because he hadn’t been paid enough money. My job was unravel all of the revisions and come to an understanding of how much money I thought M Construction truly owed him. I was supposed to have the assignment complete before Marvin’s Monday morning (May 4th) meeting with the subcontractor.

Believing that I was still employed by M Construction, I drove to the jobsite on Saturday, May 2nd, in order to complete my assignment from Marvin. When I arrived at my desk, my computer password had been changed. Panicked, I called Mark explaining that I had done what he and John N. told me to do and held my j ob hostage. After hearing the story, I asked him what he was going to do about it. He told me that I needed to find a new job, since I had quit mine. I argued with him, reminding him of the direction I received from him via ESP. He ended the conversation without providing me with an answer to my question.

After I hung up the phone,  Ben arrived at the jobsite and I asked him why I couldn’t get into my computer. He explained that I had quit. I argued with him, explaining that he needed to give me more help. Finally, after arguing with me for several minutes,  he told me to gather up my things so he could drive me home. He drove me home in my company car, helped me unload my things from the car, and drove away as my husband stood watching the whole thing. When my husband asked me what was going on,  I told him there had been a mistake, and that somehow Ben had the impression that I had quit. I assured him this wasn’t the case, and that I would be returning to work very soon.

The following week, I waited around the house for the anticipated call from John N that would tell me to report back to the jobsite. Several days elapsed without a word from John or anyone else at M Construction. Wednesday morning (May 6th), John directed me (via ESP) to call him so he could give me permission to return to work. So on Wednesday, May 6, 2008, I called John (as he requested via ESP), asking him when I was returning and reminding him of our conversation via ESP. He explained that I had quit my job and that he had replaced me. At first, I argued with John, until he began explaining (via ESP) that he needed a little more time to arrange things. Hanging up the phone with John, I believed that my return was imminent.

As a Mermaid, my life revolved around the water. I swam at the local YMCA pool several times a day, and took occasional trips to the local beach where I would wade around in the (very cold) water to “refresh” myself. I began eating sea shells and wearing them inside my clothing and in my (new) purses. I also began to observe that many of my fellow swimmers were also Mermaids. I could tell them from their (slightly) green skin, although I didn’t confront them about that point.  At the pool, I met a (real, as far as I can tell now) writer named Dan DeLion who insisted that we meet for a cup of coffee at Starbucks. He told me he owned an intergalactic baseball team, and then proceeded to show me the baseball cards of the individual players on the team.

As the voices became higher in decibal and more numerous, I became more and more distracted by them and less focused on the real world around me. I became increasingly more annoyed that the various voices in my head refused to leave me alone. Finally, I got fed up and on May 8th, 2008 I consulted my primary care physician, Dr. Paul, about the whole situation. After I told him that I was hearing voices (but not the extent of the problem), he wrote out a referral to a psychiatrist. But the voices were insistent that I didn’t need to see a psychiatrist because 1. I wasn’t crazy and 2. I didn’t want anyone else thinking I was crazy. So I never made the appointment.

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Comments»

1. Sandy Naiman - November 8, 2009

Hi,

I’ve been reading your blog out of curiosity and to understand where you’re coming from. I’m intrigued to discover that we have a great deal in common, especially a lifelong battle with our bodies, bulges, eating, food and the emotional void it seems to fill.

Also, your core values, your spirit, the reasons your write your blog, in order to provoke change – these are the same reasons I write mine.

Though I have never heard voices like you, I dissociate a great deal of the time, when I’m not in a classroom or engaged with other people. I just go somewhere else. I’ve learned to live with it. It’s the way I’ve always been.

Also, I’ve lived with my madness all my life and I guess it helps rather than being thrust into a strange new world suddenly at 49.

All I want to say is that I find your story fascinating. You write beautifully, too.

Thank you for commenting on my blog and I will continue to follow yours and look forward to becoming acquainted with you. I hope, perhaps, we can help each other.

Take care.

Cheers,
sln

Crazy Mermaid - November 8, 2009

Coming from a professional writer, I am very flattered at your kind words. In general, I have no idea what people really think about what I’m writing, because less than 1% of the readers leave any comments. I find my stuff amusing, but that might be because I see the big picture. Munching on seashells and talking to (probably) imaginary people was fun and entertaining while it lasted. Manic can be fun when you wake up to it for the first time. The newness of my experience hasn’t yet worn off, and that newness allows me to bridge the gap between the sane and insane easier since it wasn’t so long ago that I was in the former category. Or at least I thought I was 🙂

If course, I have been reading your blog ever since I found it, which I think is about a month ago. I hope you don’t mind that I linked it when I found it. I’ll keep reading as long as you keep writing 🙂


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