Bipolar: Crazy Mermaid's Blog

I’m a married 49 year old professional woman (ex-Construction Project Manager) who, when faced with enormous job-related stress, began hearing voices in my head.  I had no history of mental illness and no history of drug use prior to that point.  But within 3 1/2 months of starting to hear voices,  my delusions progressed to the point that I couldn’t tell fantasy from reality.  I had a slew of delusions, including believing that  I was a mermaid, believing that people were communicating with me via ESP, and hearing fish, cats, and dogs talk to me. Oh yeah: and chatting with one bad-tempered blood pressure machine. Right before I was involuntarily committed to the mental hospital,  I quit my (good paying) job because the voices in my head that were my bosses told me to quit so they could hire me back under better circumstances.  In the real world, my (real) bosses assumed I quit and filled my position.

I just about destroyed my marriage and my finances before I was finally involuntarily committed to a mental hospital, where I spent three weeks.  The three week stay at Fairfax cost over $60 grand.  My meds cost around $550 a month.

A huge blow to our finances is the fact that I can’t work at my old job- the job I loved- any more.  I loved the pressure-cooker environment of that job. But let’s face it: it landed me in a mental hospital. If I want a return ticket to the loony bin, I’ll go back to that job.  That is if they want a project manager who can’t think very fast or very clearly, and who has balance problems and a few more unmentionable side effects of the meds.  Half a project manager probably would be a hard sell.

I’m slowly  learning to come to terms with the limitations of my new life as a Mentally Ill Person diagnosed Bipolar One with psychotic tendencies.  To give others the benefit of my experience, I’m writing a memoir. Working title:  I Thought I Was A  Mermaid